The Sighs of Haruno Sakura
by This Ugly Yet Beautiful Author
Summary: In his short time in high school Naruto has seen time travelers,espers, and alien killer robots, but now he's about to witness the oddest thing of them all. SAKURA-CHAN WANTS TO MAKE A MOVIE! The Next adventure in the Haruno Sakura series!


**Disclaimer**- Plot is by Tatsuya Ishihara and Kyoto Animation. All Naruto characters are by Masashi Kishimoto. NOT ME!

**A/N- **When I say coming soon; I mean soon!

**Prologue**

Sakura-chan seems like the kind of person who shouldn't have any worries. But, she does. Only the thing that's bothering her is that "The world is too mundane."

To her, the "Non-mundane things" are any kind of supernatural phenomena, meaning she often thinks things like "I can't believe there's not even half a ghost appearing before me."

I should also let you know that the word "ghost" can be replaced with "aliens", "time-travelers", or "espers." However, it is common knowledge that these things only appear in fiction novels. They simply don't exist in reality. Which means, as long as Sakura-chan continues to live in this world, she will continue to be bothered by this fact. The world is supposed to be like this; nothing out of the ordinary. However, recent events in my life have made it very hard for me to have confidence in this fact; I'm also bothered.

Because I know these aliens, time-travelers, and espers do exist.

"Listen to me, I need to tell you something very important."

"What?"

"Haven't you always wished for the existence of aliens or time-travelers or espers?"

"That's right. So what?"

"In other words, the purpose of our SOS Brigade is to find these people. Right?"

"Not only to find them, we have to be able to play together. Just finding them isn't good enough, I want to participate in the act, not just be part of the audience."

"But I always wish I was watching from the sidelines... sigh, whatever. But have you ever thought that these aliens, time-travelers, or espers might be surprisingly close to us?"

"Ah? What do you mean? Don't tell me you mean Sasuke, Hinata-chan, or Sai-kun? If it's them, then that's not really a 'surprise'."

"Umm... actually I meant to tell you that it was them all along."

"Are you an idiot? It can't be that easy."

"That's true, this would be too simple by normal standards."

"Then tell me, who's the alien?"

"You would be very glad to hear this. Uchiha Sasuke is the alien. Hmm, how should I put it? Should be Integrated something entity... or Data something entity... something like that. Basically created by aliens and given a body."

"Hm, then what about Hinata-chan?"

"Hyuuga-san is easy to explain: she's a time-traveler. She comes from the future. There's no problem calling her a time-traveler right?"

"Then how many years into the future is she from?"

"I don't know this, she didn't tell me that."

"Oh, I see."

"Really?"

"That means Sai-kun is an esper? Were you planning on telling me that from the start?"

"That is correct."

"Ahh."

Sakura-chan twitched her eyebrows while she spoke, then slowly breathed in some air, and screamed:

"DON'T MESS WITH ME!"

Just like that, Sakura-chan completely discarded the truth that took me so much effort to get out. Oh well, this was expected of her. Even after the three of them each used their own way to show me that they were indeed an alien, a time-traveler, and an esper, I still had doubts in my mind. To make Sakura-chan believe this, especially considering that she hadn't seen what I had seen, was almost impossible.

But what else could I say? I had told her the absolute truth. Even though I don't look like a very credible guy, when I know there's no benefit to be gained from lying, I will tell the truth.

But in fact Sakura-chan wasn't at fault either. If a nice guy came up to me and said "This person you know is actually someone unbelievable..." I believe I would also lose my temper and start yelling at him. If some guy said that kind of stuff to me with a straight face, I would probably think that his brain had been infected by some virus, or had been addled by poisonous waves. Perhaps I'd even feel sorry for the guy. I don't think I would continue to talk to that guy in any case.

Hmm, right now, isn't "that guy" me?

"Naruto, get your ears over here and listen carefully."

Sakura-chan stared at me with fire in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time-traveler, or a esper. They're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't be that rare and precious!"

Wow, that actually made some sense. But other than me, the other three really are blessed with supernatural characteristics. I'm the only normal human being. Wait a minute, did she say that she just grabbed random people to be in her club?

Sigh, why does this dumb girl only have common sense when it comes to strange topics? If she would only believe me, everything would be much simpler. At least this bogus SOS Brigade could disband, since it was formed for the sole purpose of finding aliens _et al _for Sakura-chan. Once she finds those things, there won't be any point in keeping this club around. After that, she can play with those unnatural beings all she likes, while I stay to the side and add a few laughs here and there. I hope this happens soon, because right now I feel like a circus animal being forced to perform.

However, if Sakura-chan had any sense of what was happening around her, I don't know what the world would be like.

Ah yes. I should let you know that only two people participated in this dialogue, from the beginning. It happened during the second "SOS Brigade wandering around in the city (temporary name)" club event, when I talked with Sakura-chan inside the restaurant by the station. I didn't have any doubts that Sakura-chan would pay for the meal; I'd explained all that to her very naturally as I was sipping my coffee. But she didn't take me seriously at all. I'm fine with that though. Whoever believes in that stuff needs to have their brain examined.

As for me, I didn't bother to tell her the specifics, since details in things like this would only cause more suspicion. Since all this was coming from me: the guy who got dragged to Uchiha's apartment and had to listen to a long series of unclear explanations, there was no reason to suspect anything funny.

"I don't ever want to hear lame jokes like this again."

Sakura-chan drained all the yellow-greenish vegetable juice from her glass, and said:

"Let's go! We can't separate into two groups today, so let's just wander around! Oh yeah, I forgot to bring my wallet today. Here's the bill."

While I was still staring at the eight hundred and thirty yen bill, thinking about how to protest this atrocity, Sakura-chan grabbed my coffee and finished it. That left me with the impression that she wasn't going to accept any protests. She then marched out of the restaurant, and stood in front of the automatic door with her arms crossed.

Half a year has already passed since then. Now that I think about it, I seem to have experienced a lot of strange phenomena during these past six months. SOS Brigade's official name is still "The Save the world by Overloading it with fun Hauno Sakura-chan's Brigade" which gives me the creeps. I have no idea where in the world this club brought more excitement to. I think only Sakura-chan felt whatever excitement it was supposed to bring. Also, the club's reason for existence is still a mystery. The original goal was something about playing with aliens, kidnapping time travelers, and battling alongside espers. However from Sakura-chan's perspective, this goal still hasn't been reached.

This is all because Sakura-chan believes she hasn't met any aliens, time travelers or espers. Coming to that conclusion isn't something I can help. I've already told her the other three members' true identities, but she just won't believe me. So this shouldn't be my responsibility anymore, right?

Even though the SOS Brigade has failed to reach its intended goal, thus losing its primary reason for existence, it still hasn't disbanded. Even now, this unrecognized organization still secretly exists in the Old Shack.

Of course, our five members, including myself, still choose to hang out in our clubroom every day. The student council, after several meetings and different levels of analysis, seems to have chosen to ignore us. They didn't approve our club initiation documents, but they didn't say anything regarding our forced takeover of the Literature Club either. Maybe it's because the club's only member, Uchiha Sasuke, has no problem with us being here. However, I personally believe that the student council simply does not want to get into an argument with Sakura-chan, so they've decided to feign ignorance.

I don't think anyone in the world would intentionally step on something that says "Warning: explodes when stepped on" in red neon lights. Even I don't have the courage to do that. If I had only known, I would not have talked to that stubborn girl who put up that unfriendly expression every day.

A normal high schooler who accidentally pressed a button that activated a time bomb, and is now being forced to carry that bomb around like a moron - that's me. And this time bomb labeled "Hauno Sakura" doesn't even have a counter on it. I have no idea when it's going to explode, how much damage it will cause, or what else is inside. Even more importantly, I don't even know if this bomb is real. Maybe it's just a toy used to fool little kids.

I can't seem to find the trash bin labeled "Hazardous Materials Only" no matter how hard I try. Which means, this dangerous entity that I've activated is essentially covered with superglue, stuck to my hand harder than anything else could be.

Sigh... Where am I gonna find a place to dump it?

**Chapter 1**

High schools organize certain activities from time to time, and the high school that I attend held a sports day last month. When Sakura-chan suggested that the SOS Brigade participate in the inter-club relay race, one of the many competitive events held that day, I felt quite dubious. To make things worse, we ended up actually beating the Athletics club and the Rugby club in the relay race, in which Sakura overwhelmed the second place runner by a whole thirteen horses' lengths!

So as a result, our club went from being an unspoken taboo, only discussed in the shadows (except by me), towards being the current fad at school, reminiscent of a troublemaker who pulls fire alarms. I was already at a total loss on how to deal with this, but there was more. Of course Sakura-chan was the main instigator of all this, but Uchiha, who had run the second leg of the race, was just as guilty. I could never forget his speed, which could only be described as instantaneous movement. Uchiha, you should at least warn me before you do that!

When I asked Uchiha what sort of magic he used this time, the stoic, alien-created living humanoid interface replied with explanatory terms such as "energy positioning", "molecular dispersion" and other jargon. Of course, such explanations meant nothing to me, since I had already decided to embrace the artistic subjects and abandon the scientific ones, to which I gave absolutely no effort in comprehension or trying to comprehend.

After that tumultuous sports day ended, a month passed by and the school festival came up. So at this moment, this insignificant prefectural high school is busily preparing for this festival... though the only people who are really doing anything are the teachers and members from the organizing committee and the art-related clubs, since it is their only chance to flex their muscles.

Now when it came to club-related contributions to the festival, the as-yet unrecognized SOS Brigade was not required to provide any creative attractions. Actually, if it were allowed as our club contribution, I wouldn't mind locking up a stray cat in a cage, adding a sign indicating "Extraterrestrial Alien" and displaying it as a sideshow attraction to make money just like in a circus. Though I think that would be unwise because people without a sense of humor would be terribly offended while others with a sense of humor would only laugh despicably.

This sort of attraction wouldn't require any serious consideration for values and success--it didn't even require any real effort. The same could be said for the rest of the attractions. High school festivals in real life can be that gritty. If you think I'm joking, visit any school in Japan holding festivities. When you do, you will realize then that such attractions are pretty much considered a regular expectation of school festivals.

On the other hand, what did class 1-5, the class Sakura-chan and I belong to, intend to do that day? It turns out that we will be preparing some sort of lame questionnaire. I can see it only as a cover so as to appear to be organizing something for the festival. Ever since Yamanaka Ino disappeared this spring, our class had been devoid of a student with leadership qualities. So due to the lack of student participation, this uncreative idea was painstakingly brainstormed by Iruka-sensei during the long and boring homeroom session. Without anyone consenting or objecting, the motion passed and the long homeroom session was over. But what kind of questionnaire? Who would actually be interested in doing this?

Probably no one, I suppose. But since it's been decided, keep up the great work guys!

And so, suffering from apathy syndrome, I walked wearily towards the club room.

Why did I go, you ask?

Naturally, this is because of a domineering girl coming towards me and rambling endlessly, "What questionnaire? This is so retarded!"

She said this with an outraged expression on her face. "I mean, where's the fun in that? I totally don't get it!"

Then why didn't you suggest something better? Weren't you there as well, looking at Iruka-sensei standing there like a lonely ghost, not knowing what to do?

"Forget it, I never intended to join any of the class's activities anyway. There's no fun in organizing an activity with these guys."

But didn't you contribute to the class by winning all of the inter-class races on sports day? I thought it was you who won as the last baton in the short, medium, and long distance relays. Or has my memory served me wrong?

"That was different."

What was different?

"A school festival is a school festival, or in other words, a campus festival. Though public schools are seldom called campuses, but that doesn't matter. After all, isn't the school festival the most important activity of the whole school year?"

Is that so?

"Absolutely!" She nodded vigorously, then faced me and announced the following, "The SOS Brigade will do something very interesting!"

The face of Haruno Sakura now shone with the same determined look as Hannibal, who had decided to cross the Alps during the Second Punic War.

Shining she may be, but... Shit.

For the past six months, whatever Sakura-chan thought was "interesting" was anything but interesting to me, and her interests have all resulted in me being exhausted. At least, that's so for me and Hyuuga-san, but this is because we're normal human beings after all. From what I see, it is common knowledge that Sakura isn't a normal person, while Sai possesses a state of mind not present in ordinary humans. As for Uchiha, he's not even human to begin with.

Hanging out with this bunch, how am I supposed to peacefully live through this extraordinary high school life of mine? I really don't want to get involved in silly stuff anymore. Just thinking about it is enough to give me an urge to aim a gun at my forehead, or extract and burn the brain cells containing those memories. Though I don't know what Sakura would say about that.

Maybe I was too busy thinking how to erase those memories of the past because I wasn't paying attention to what the annoying girl next to me was raving about.

"Hey, Naruto, are you even listening?"

"I wasn't, where were you again?"

"The school festival! You ought to be more excited! We only get a school festival once a year!"

"That may be true, but you don't have to be so concerned about it."

"Of course I have to be concerned! It won't be a school festival if it isn't exciting enough. It should be like the campus festivals that I know of."

"Did you do something ridiculous while in junior high?"

"No, it wasn't fun at all. So it won't be reasonable if the high school festival isn't fun as well."

"Then what is it that you find interesting?"

"Like real monsters appearing in a haunted house, the number of steps in a flight of stairs suddenly increasing, the number of school mysteries jumping from seven to thirteen, an Afro hairstyle three times the size of a normal head appearing on the principal's head, the school transforming into a giant robot and doing battle with the monster from under the sea, or even autumn being represented by plum blossoms..."

"Can I buy some pot off of you?"

"...Sigh, forget it. I'll tell you more when we get to the club room."

Sakura-chan strode with large footsteps towards the club room in a bad mood, maybe I souldn't have teased her like that. In a moment's time, we arrived at the door. The sign above the door read, "Literature Club," and cellotaped under that sign was a piece of paper with scribbling that read "with the SOS Brigade."

"Since we've stayed here for half a year already, I don't suppose anyone would mind if we claimed this room for ourselves." Sakura unilaterally declared her sovereignty over the use of the room and had wanted to remove the original sign, but I stopped her. After all, it's important for humans to maintain a certain amount of caution in their actions.

Sakura-chan opened the door without knocking, and standing inside was a fairy girl. When her eyes met with mine, she smiled like a lily blossoming.

"Oh... hello."

Wearing a maid costume and sweeping the room with a broomstick is the best tea girl ever, the pride of the SOS Brigade - Hyuuga Hinata-san. As usual, she carried a sweet smile befitting of a fairy residing in the club room and welcomed my arrival. Maybe she is a fairy in disguise. She feels more like a fairy than a time traveler from the future.

Hyuuga-san was forcefully dragged over by Sakura during the founding of the brigade, as Sakura-chan explained, "We needed a mascot." Then under Sakura-chan's demands, she was forced to put on a maid costume and has since become the SOS Brigade's official maid. Every day after school, she would transform into the perfect maid. This is not because of any loose screws in her brain, but more because she was so honest and so sincere that I could almost cry.

Hyuuga-san has dressed as a bunny girl, a nurse and all other sorts of costumes for the SOS Brigade. Yet I felt the maid costume suited her best. To put it simply, it's because this costume has no hidden meaning or innuendo, which was why I hoped she would go on like that. Maybe I should emphasize something: Sakura's actions rarely have any meaning to them.

Yet her actions often become the trigger for something else, and have put us into a lot of trouble, so I actually felt it would be better for her actions to be truly meaningless.

The often eccentric Sakura has very rarely done anything correctly, or I should say she's only ever done one correct thing, and that is in picking Hyuuga-san's maid costume. Since it suited her too well, it's enough to make people dizzy. It is only for this alone that I give credit to Sakura's eccentric behavior. I don't know where she bought it or how much she paid, but Sakura-chan does have some taste when it comes to elegant costumes. Though I believe Hyuuga-san would look great in anything she wears, just like a professional model. And my favorite costume of them all is the maid costume. There must be some meaning with this costume, for it was always able to satiate my visual senses.

"I'll go brew some tea."

Hyuuga-san said with her soft, adorable voice. She placed the broomstick into the cleaning cabinet and scurried over towards the kitchen cupboard, taking out everyone's cups.

My abdomen suddenly suffered an intense pain, and when I came to my senses, I realized Sakura had jabbed her elbow into me.

"Your eyes have squinted as thin as a line now."

Maybe I was too moved by Hyuuga-san's cute movements, so naturally I squinted my eyes leaving only a narrow gap. I believe everyone would have the same reaction after seeing the adorably elegant and shy Hyuuga-san.

Sakura walked towards the desk with a black triangular spike that read "Commander," and took out an armband that also read "Commander" from the drawer and put it on. She then kicked the steel chair out from the desk and sat on it, overlooking the club room.

Sitting by the corner of a table reading a thick book was another member of the brigade.

Sitting there fully concentrated on reading his book is none other than Uchiha Sasuke, the first year Literature Club student, who to Sakura-chan would be like "a bonus gift that comes along with occupying the Literature Club room." A prize inside a cerael box.

His existence is as subtle as nitrogen in the atmosphere, yet of all the first years in the brigade he is the most extraordinary. His extraordinariness far exceeds that of Sakura-chan. I know absolutely nothing about Sakura-chan, yet while I do know something about Uchiha, this only makes me even more confused about him. If what Uchiha said was correct, then this silent black-haired boy lacking of expression, emotion, and empathy is not a human but a living humanoid interface created by aliens to interact with humans. It still sounds very absurd. But since he himself has said so, I do not want to question any further since it does sound real. Of course, Sakura-chan doesn't know about this; Sakura still treats him as "quite a weird bookworm."

Though objectively speaking, "quite" is an understatement.

"Where's Sai-kun?"

Sakura-chan glared at Hyuuga-san with her sharp glare. Hyuuga-san shuddered for a moment, then said, "Eh...h...he's not here yet, he's quite late today..."

Hyuuga-san carefully brought out the tea leaves from the tin and placed them in the little teapot. I casually looked at the hanging rack by the corner of the club room. All sorts of costumes hung on top of it, like a theatre resting room. From the left hung a nurse costume, a bunny girl costume, a summer maid costume, a yukata, a white blouse, a leopard skin costume, a woolen frog puppet costume, and all other sorts of unidentifiable costumes.

For the past six months these costumes have all graced the warm skin of Hyuuga-san. Let me explain further, there is absolutely no reason for Hyuuga-san to wear these costumes, apart from satisfying Sakura-chan's own ego. Maybe she suffered some sort of trauma in the past? Like not getting the dress-up doll she wanted when she was young, so now she sees Hyuuga-san as a large doll to play around with. Thanks to this, Hyuuga-san's emotional scars have increased as the days go by, while my visual senses get stimulated as a result, creating a sense of happiness for me. Sigh. Overall, I don't think a lot of people have benefited from this, so I'd best not say anything about it.

"Hinata-chan, tea!"

"Ah...yes! Right away!"

Hyuuga-san hurriedly poured the green tea into the cup that had been marked "Sakura" with a felt-tip pen, and carried it over on a tray.

Sakura received the teacup and blew the steam off and took a sip. She then spoke like a flower arrangement master berating her disciple for not being diligent enough, "Hinata-chan, I remember telling you before. Have you forgotten?"

"Huh?" Hyuuga-san grabbed the tray with trepidation. "W...what is it?"

She tilted her head like a Java Sparrow reminiscing over the taste of the seeds it ate the day before.

Sakura placed her cup on the table.

"When carrying tea over, you need to accidentally trip the tea cup over once every three times! You don't look like a clumsy maid at all!"

"Ah, erm...s...sorry."

Hyuuga-san shrugged her small shoulders. This is the first time I heard of such a rule; does this girl really believe that maids are supposed to be clumsy?

"You've got a chance now. Hinata-chan, go use Naruto as practice. When carrying the tea over, make sure you spill the tea over his head."

"Huh?"

Hyuuga-san said then looked at me. I would really like to drill a hole in Sakura-chan's head and replace the contents within. Sadly, I would find nothing inside and can only sigh.

"Hyuuga-san, only someone with a damaged brain could think of something like what Sakura-chan just said."

_So keep up the good work!_ I had wanted to add that, but decided not to in the end.

Sakura-chan heard and rolled her pretty green eyes.

"Idiot, I'm not joking! I'm always serious."

Then that's even more problematic; you probably need a CT scan. Besides, I wonder if getting mad at you for calling me an idiot means I lack a sense of humor?

"Forget it, allow me to demonstrate. Then you follow what I do, Hinata-chan."

Sakura-chan leaped off the steel chair and swiped the tray from the stuttering Hyuuga-san. She then lifted the teapot and began to pour tea into the cup with my name written on it.

As I watched this scene unfold with stunned silence, Sakura-chan roughly placed the cup on the tray, splashing the tea all over, then stared at where I was sitting and nodded to signal she was about to come over. I promptly picked up the teacup.

"Hey! Don't get in the way!"

What do you mean don't get in the way? The only people who would gladly sit there and wait for someone to pour hot tea over their heads are either being too nice or are trying to con the insurance company.

And so I stood and drank the green tea Sakura-chan brewed for me and thought to myself: why is it that even though they brewed with the same tea leaves, Hyuuga-san's tea tasted so much different from Sakura-chan's? The answer was obvious even without thinking. The difference between them was a flavouring called "love." If Hyuuga-san was a white rose blooming in the wild, then Sakura-chan would be a special breed of rose that doesn't even blossom and is full of thorns; it probably doesn't even have seeds. Though her tea tast good in her own way.

Sakura-chan looked at me with admonishment as I drank my tea.

"Hmph."

She flicked her pink hair heavily and returned to her seat. The look on her face was as though she had just swallowed some bitter herbal medicine.

Hyuuga-san gave a sigh of relief and went back to her usual serving mode, pouring tea into Uchiha's cup and placing it in front of the reading boy.

Uchiha didn't move, keeping his head transfixed on the hardcover book. You should try and express some sort of gratitude!

Uchiha flicked the pages without lifting his head. As he's usually like that, Hyuuga-san didn't really mind and went to prepare her own cup.

At this moment, the fifth member arrived, though no one would really mind if he hadn't come.

"Sorry, I was delayed, since our class meeting was longer than expected."

Revealing his charmingly harmless smile and standing by the door is Sai, Sakura's mysterious transfer student. His handsome face, which I wouldn't introduce my girlfriend to if I had one, was carrying a smile as usual.

"Looks like I'm the last to arrive. If the meeting's delayed because of me, then I sincerely apologize. Maybe it would be better if we grab a bite first?"

Meeting? What meeting? I never knew of any meeting.

"I'd really have forgotten about it if you didn't mention it."

Looking down the table, Sakura-chan said to me, "I told everyone else about it during lunch break already. I thought I could tell you any time anyway."

You had the time to go to other classrooms, yet you never bothered to tell me, who happened to sit right in front of you in the same classroom?

"Does it really matter? It's the same anyway. The issue is not when you get the message, but what we're doing now."

That's her way of putting things around. No matter what Sakura-chan says, I'd never feel any better. This is now common knowledge.

"What's more important, we need to discuss what we need to be doing soon!"

Please! Distinguish your present and future tenses! You don't even specify who you are referring to.

"All of us of course! Since this is an SOS Brigade activity."

What activity?

"Didn't I just say it? When else can we hold an activity besides during the school festival?"

Then it's not a brigade activity, but a school activity. If you really want to make the school festival more lively, then you ought to apply to join the festival executive committee. Then you'll have plenty of menial tasks to take care of.

"That won't be meaningful at all. What we need is an SOS Brigade-styled activity! It took us a lot of work to develop the brigade to its present state! There's no one in this school that doesn't know who we are! Don't you understand?"

What on earth is an SOS Brigade-styled activity? Thinking back on the activities that the SOS Brigade has held for the past six months, I suddenly felt melancholic.

You are only saying whatever pops into your mind, that's easy for you, but do you know how much Hyuuga-san and I had to suffer these past six months? All Sai can do is smile like an idiot, while Uchiha couldn't provide much help, you should be more considerate at people like me, who are by your side all the time. Oh, and Hyuuga-san's probably not normal as well, but since she's so cute, that's fine with me. Because all she needs to do is just stand there and let my eyes savour the scenery and caress the barren field in my wan- um heart.

"We need to do something that suits everyone's expectations,"

Sakura-chan mumbled, looking unhappy. Speaking of which, just who would expect anything from the SOS Brigade? Now that's something worthy for a questionnaire! The SOS Brigade has not even grown, the number of members has still remained the same, let alone being promoted into an Association. So it's best to maintain the status quo, but sooner or later, the Sakura Express is going to derail someday. There're only five passengers on this train, at least find a replacement for me. Or perhaps just give me an hourly salary, even 100 yen would do.

Sakura spent thirty seconds finishing her cup of tea, then asked Hyuuga-san for a second cup.

"What about you Hinata-chan? Do you have any plans?"

"Umm...You mean our class...We're planning on selling noodles and tea..."

"Hinata-chan is probably a waitress, right?"

Hyuuga-san widened her eyes.

"How did you know? I had wanted to do the cooking, but everyone else wanted me to..."

Sakura's eyes now looked intrigued, the sort of cunning eyes that are up to no good. Her eyes drifted towards the hanging rack, making it obvious she's thinking she hasn't had Hyuuga-san dressed as a waitress yet.

Sakura's expression was now full of thought.

"What about Sai-kun's class?"

Sai lifted his eyebrow.

"We've decided to stage a play, but opinions in the class were split. Some wanted an original script, while others wanted a classic play. The school festival's coming up but we're still debating intensely about it. It's going to be some time before things can be decided."

Ah, a lively class sure is so much better, though it can be troublesome.

"Hmm."

Sakura's eyes now moved towards the remaining unspoken member.

"What about Sasuke-kun?"

The alien who loved reading now lifted his head like a badger sensing the rain.

"Divinations."

He replied without any emotion as usual.

"Divinations?"

I now cut in and asked.

"Yes."

Uchiha, whose face doesn't even look like it's breathing, nodded his head.

"You're in charge of divinations?"

"Yes."

I can imagine Uchiha in a black pointed cap, wearing a black cape and carrying a crystal ball, but then I see a scene where he tells a couple, "You two will break up in fifty-eight days three hours and five minutes...and twenty three seconds."

Couldn't you come up with a better lie? Whether Uchiha can predict the future is another mystery I can never know.

Hyuuga's class is opening a stall, Sai's staging a play, while Uchiha's class is doing divinations? Why do other classes activities sound so much more interesting than our dull questionnaire activity? Oh yeah, what do you think? Why don't we combine all of the above and have a staged divination tea party play?

"Enough with the idiotic talk, the meeting starts now."

My previous opinion was kicked off cruelly by Sakura-chan, who walked towards the white board. She pulled the conductor staff until it became as long as a radio antenna and whipped it on the white board.

There's nothing written on it, what do you want me to look at?

"There'll be something written in a while. Hinata-chan, you're in charge of the records. Carefully write down everything I say."

When did Hyuuga-san become the record keeper? I'm afraid no one knows, since Sakura-chan has just decided that a moment ago.

Hyuuga-san, tea girl and record keeper, picked up a felt-tip pen and sat by the board, looking up at Sakura's face.

Sakura said in an excited tone, "The SOS Brigade is going to make a movie!"

I really don't understand how Sakura's brain works. It doesn't really matter, since she's always like that. But then this won't be a meeting, but rather an opportunity for her to showcase her personal ideas.

"Hasn't it always been that way?" Sai said softly to me, carrying a smile so dashing one has an urge to go draw it. Sai elegantly opened his mouth, "Haruno-san probably knew what she wanted to do since the beginning, so I don't think there's much to discuss. Did you tell her something you're not supposed to?"

I don't remember telling her anything about movies today. Maybe she saw a terrible C-movie last night and found it too boring and now she's looking for a way to vent her frustration?

Yet Sakura was convinced her speech has moved the entire audience and looked very excited. "I bet you all have questions right now?"

I only have questions about how your brain works.

"When a TV series ends, they usually end with the main character dying, but wouldn't that be too unnatural? Why would he die right at the end? It doesn't make any sense, so I hate stories where someone dies at the end. I'd never make movies like that!"

Are we talking about movies or TV series?

"Didn't I just say we're making a movie?

Hyuuga-san, who doesn't look like she's actually from the Calligraphy Club, elegantly wrote the words "Movie Release" on the board, Sakura-chan nodded her head in satisfaction.

"That's about it, you understand now?"

Sakura-chan talked like a weather forecaster cheerfully predicting that the monsoon rain would be over soon.

"What about it?"

I asked, which was natural of course. I only understood "Movie Release". Where does she intend to find a movie studio to endorse her movie? Could she have found a studio already?

Yet Sakura-chan's pupils glittered as she smiled brightly,

"Naruto, has your intelligence deteriorated? Of course _we_ are going to make the movie. The movie is going to be shown in the school festival, with the caption 'SOS Brigade Presents' at the beginning."

"When did we become the Movie Study Group?"

"What are you rambling about? This will always be the SOS Brigade! I don't remember any Movie Study Group around here."

Sakura-chan callously said something which would probably piss the Movie Study Group if they heard about it.

"This has been decided long ago! There will be no retrial! Further appeals will be rejected!"

Since the leader of the SOS Brigade jury says so, I don't suppose it can be overturned? Just who on earth shoved Sakura-chan to the SOS Brigade commander throne? No, wait a minute, come to think of it, it was she who claimed the throne for herself. No matter what world you're in, it's always the loud and pretentious people that have ever inflating egos. Thanks to this, people Hyuuga-san, who tend to follow the flow, will always feel confused. This is the conflict of this cold and cruel reality; it is also the truth. Then why am I going alone with this? I use to be loud and pretentious. What happen to me? Did I grow into this follower or is it your fault Sakura-chan.

As my mind delved into the philosophical question about myself and of what counts as an ideal society...

"So that's how it is." Sai said, as though he understood everything. He shared his smile equally between me and Sakura and said, "I understand now."

Hey, Sai, don't just gracefully accept the bomb that Sakura-chan just dropped! Don't you have your own opinions on this?

Sai flicked his parting lightly with his finger, "From what I see, we're making a self-made movie to attract visitors to come watch it. Is that right?"

"Exactly!"

Sakura-chan whipped her "antenna" on the board.

Hyuuga-san shuddered, yet she still took the courage and said, "But...why decide to make a movie?"

"Last night, I found I couldn't sleep." Sakura-chan brought the antenna before her eyes and swung it like a windscreen wiper. "So I turned on the TV and ended up watching a weird movie. I wasn't interested at first, but as I had nothing else to do, I decided to give it a look."

Just as I thought.

"That was a really boring movie, so boring I had an urge to make an international prank call to the director's house; that's why I came up with this idea."

The tip of the conductor staff pointed towards Hyuuga's tiny face.

"If that kind of movie can exist, then I can definitely make a better one!" Sakura puffed her chest confidently and said, "That's why I want to give it a try, do you have anything to say about that?"

Hyuuga-san shook her head vigorously as if in fear. Even if she did have an opinion, Hyuuga-san probably wouldn't say anything, while Sai is a nodding yes-man, and Uchiha never talks anyway, so the only one doing the talking would always be me.

"You seem determined to be a movie director or producer, that's fine with us, it's your choice and you can pursue that dream as you desire. That means we can now go ahead and pursue our own dreams as well."

"I don't get what you mean."

Sakura-chan had her lips stuck out like a duck. I patiently explained my detailed analysis to her.

"You say you want to make a movie, yet we never said anything about it. What if we don't like this suggestion? A movie can't be made with just a director alone."

"Relax, I've come up with a script already."

"No, that's not what I meant..."

"There's nothing to worry about. You just do what I tell you to, so don't worry."

I'm very worried.

"Let me do the planning, I'll take care of everything."

I'm even more worried now.

"Man, you sure are annoying! I'm gonna go ahead with what I said I'm gonna do. The aim is to get first place in the school festival activities poll! Who knows, those ignorant idiots at the Student Council may finally recognize the SOS Brigade as an official club...No! I'll _make_ them recognize us. To achieve this goal, we must bring public opinion to our side first!"

Public opinion and exit polls aren't necessarily in direct proportion with each other, you know.

I tried resisting.

"What about the production costs?"

"If you're talking about a budget, we have one."

Where? I don't believe the Student Council will grant a budget to this underground organization that openly conducts its activities.

"Isn't the Literature Club granted a budget as well?"

"That's the Literature Club's budget! You can't use that!"

"But Sasuke said it was OK."

Oh boy. I looked at Uchiha's face, while Uchiha lifted his head in slow motion to look at me, then without saying anything, slowly went back to reading his book. Creepy.

_Won't there be people that want to join the Literature Club?_I didn't intend to ask this question, since it's possible that Uchiha deliberately arranged for the Literature Club to be on the brink of being canceled. He seems to already know what Sakura-chan is up to; it'll be a pity if someone else wants to join the Literature Club now. How I wish someone would reclaim the Literature Club from the clutches of Sakura-chan.

Sakura-chan didn't notice what I was thinking, waving her antenna in excitement, "Is everyone clear now? Treat this activity as more important than the one at your classes! If anyone has any dissenting opinions, they can tell me after the school festival, OK? The director's orders are absolute!"

Sakura-chan declared passionately, like a grizzly bear in a zoo holding on to an ice cube during the hot summer. The surroundings no longer concern her.

First she's a brigade commander, now she wants to be a director? What career does she intend to be in? ...And don't tell me you want to be a God. Seriously that's not funny.

"That's it for today! Since I need to think of how to choose the cast and crew and find sponsors. There's a lot of stuff involved in making a movie."

I'm not really sure what making a movie involves, but what on earth is she up to? Sponsors?

_Slam!_

A loud noise echoed across the room. I turned and found Uchiha closing her book. That sound has now become the unofficial signal for the SOS Brigade to end its business for the day.

"We'll discuss the details tomorrow!"

After leaving this sentence, Sakura-chan fled the room like a cat hearing a can of cat food being opened. I don't think there are any details left to explain.

"But isn't that fine?"

The only person who would say that is definitely Sai.

"As long as it's not hunting for aliens for a circus freak show, or shooting down a UFO and displaying its contents, then I'm relieved."

Where have I heard this before?

The smiling esper covered his mouth and laughed.

"Besides, I'm quite interested in what movie Haruno-san is making, I feel I can imagine more or less what's on her mind."

Sai glanced towards Hyuuga-san, who was cleaning the teacups.

"This could be an interesting school festival, it'll be fun."

Influenced by him, my eyes also turned towards Hyuuga-san. Just as we were staring at the headpiece bouncing with her hair...

"Ah! W...what are you looking at?"

Noticing two horny guys staring at her, Hyuuga-san stopped what she was doing and blushed furiously.

I answered inside my heart.

_Oh no, it's nothing. I was just thinking, what costume would Sakura-chan be bringing this time?_

Preparing to go home...or rather, simply placing the book into his bag, Uchiha stood up silently and headed towards the door. Could Uchiha be reading a book about divinations? Because it's written in a foreign language that I couldn't understand.

"But..." I mumbled.

A movie...huh?

To be honest, I'm a bit interested as well, of course my interest is not as deep as Sai's, probably just as deep as those marine plankton living off the continental shelf.

Perhaps I should look forward to it?

Since no one else is expecting anything from it.

I take back everything I just said, I don't look forward to anything.

Because after school the next day, I was already suffering.

**Presented by: The SOS Brigade **

**Executive Producer / Director / Screenwriter: Haruno Sakura **

**Female Lead: Hyuuga Hinata **

**Male Lead: Sai Itsuki **

**Supporting Character: Uchiha Sasuke **

**Assistant Director / Cinematography / Editing / Equipment / Information Gathering / Other Menial Tasks: Naruto **

When I saw what was written in the notebook, I only thought of one thing,

"So what is it exactly that I'm doing?"

"What was written on it, of course."

Like an orchestra conductor, Sakura-chan waved her conductor staff.

"You're the backstage staff, just as the cast and crew allocation has described. We've got a formidable cast, right?"

"A...am I the lead?"

Hyuuga-san asked in a soft voice. Today she wore her usual school uniform instead of her maid costume, since Sakura-chan said she didn't need to change today. Looks like Sakura-chan's going to bring Hyuuga-san someplace today.

"If possible, can I just have a minor role..."

Hyuuga-san pleaded with Sakura-chan with a sad look.

"No," Sakura replied. "I'm going to make Hinata-chan famous, after all, you're like the registered trademark of our brigade. All you need to do is practice signing autographs. Since when the movie premieres, the fans will be queuing up for your signature."

Movie premiere? Where does she intend to hold such an event?

Hyuuga-san doesn't seem too comfortable with this.

"...But I can't act."

"Don't worry, I'll guide you well."

Hyuuga-san lifted her head in trepidation and looked at me, and sadly lowered her eyebrows.

There were only three of us here right now, Because Uchiha and Sai had meetings for their classes' festival activities, they were going to be late today. I never thought there would be people who would stay behind after school to prepare these things; I mean, all they needed to do was just sit there and get it over with. I was amazed there were quite a number of people who were serious about it.

"On the other hand, Sasuke-kun and Sai-kun aren't serious about this," Sakura-chan said in annoyance. Not knowing how to vent her anger, she pointed her finger at me, "I clearly said this activity takes priority over the rest. Yet they chose to be late so they can attend their classes' activities. I really need to give them a warning."

Maybe Uchiha-kun and Sai-kun had a better sense of belonging with their classes than Sakura-chan and I. From a certain perspective, it's actually more strange for the three of us to be here at this time.

I suddenly thought of something.

"Hyuuga-san, don't you need to attend your class's meeting?"

"Um, I'm only on the staff responsible for serving the customers, so all that's left is to design the costumes. I still don't know what costume I'm going to wear, but I'm looking forward to it."

Hyuuga-san blushed and smiled. She already seems used to cosplaying now. Instead of sticking around with the SOS Brigade and being forced to wear all sorts of meaningless costumes without any reasons at all, wouldn't it be better for her to wear something appropriate for the right occasion? It's perfectly normal for waitresses to appear in a noodle stall, more so than a maid in the Literature Club room.

I never knew how Sakura-chan managed to include that in the discussion topic.

"So, Hinata-chan, you wanted to dress up as a waitress? Why didn't you say so? That'll make things easy, I'll find a costume for you."

I don't really mind you making these sort of witty remarks, but don't you think that it's inappropriate for people in the Literature Club room to wear all sorts of costumes besides their uniform? Even the nurse costume before was questionable, if she has to wear a costume, I still find the maid costume the best...Is this a personal fetish of mine?

"Oh, all right."

Sakura-chan turned towards me,

"Naruto, do you know what's the most important thing when making a movie?"

Hmm...Well, I tried to recall every movie scene that has moved me which is worthy for reference. When I finished thinking, I confidently answered,

"Innovation and passion?"

"It's nothing that abstract!"

Sakura rejected my thinking.

"It's a camera, of course! How are we going to shoot a movie without one?"

You may be right, but I wasn't talking about something so pragmatic...Forget it, it's not like I have a lot of innovative ideas or passion for movie making and movie theories, so I wasn't going to argue.

"It's decided."

Sakura-chan retracted her conductor staff and threw it on the commander's desk.

"We will now go obtain a camera."

_Thud!_The sound of a chair backtracking can be heard. I turned and saw that Hyuuga-san's face had gone pale. Can't really blame her; after all, Sakura-chan had savagely looted the computer in this room from the Computer Study Group, using poor Hyuuga-san as a sacrifice.

Hyuuga-san's black hair shivered, she slowly opened her cherry blossom lips and said,

"U...umm...H...Haruno-san, I just remembered something, I need to go back to the classroom."

"Be quiet."

Sakura-chan wore a horrible expression.You know the one that makes her look like a rapist that just saw her pray. Hyuuga-san shuddered and instantly sat back on her chair wearily. Sakura-chan then smiled gently.

"Don't worry."

Just because you said "don't worry" doesn't guarantee something worth worrying about won't happen.

"This time I won't be using Hinata-chan's body as an offering, I only need your help this time."

Hyuuga-san looked at me with eyes as sad as a calf being sent on a truck to the slaughterhouse. Without shouting loudly, I said to Sakura-chan,

"At least tell us what you want us to help on! Or both Hyuuga-san and I won't leave this place."

Sakura-chan's expression read, "What's with these two?"

She said, "I'm going to find a sponsor, it's easier to make an impression if I bring the female lead along, right? You come too! Since you have to carry the equipment."

Great. Pack mule duty.


End file.
